Intergenerational Living: Grandma's View

As I reflect on what I think of as our intergenerational living trial run, I realize that I went into it without expectations. I just went for the joy of spending time with the kids and getting acquainted with the place.

As I approached my visit to Tucson I did give some thought to how I could be of help to the kids while I was there. I hoped that cooking would be one way to do that and I went prepared with my kneading cloth, some dry yeast, and my handicapped tools – pliers, kitchen scissors, and jar opener.

I also hoped to be sensitive to their need for privacy, both individually and as a couple.

I was planning to have a good time, but I had a wonderful time. I found that grandma benefits from intergenerational living in many ways. Today I’ll just mention a few. I’m sure others will come up in subsequent posts.

First of all, I felt loved and cared for. I felt secure and happy to be exploring this new climate, this new abode, this new city and its culture.

Second, I felt useful. So many older people feel they are not making a contribution. They feel useless. In Tucson with these young people I felt happy to help when I could ease their way. The little I did seemed to make them happy, too. Mutual happiness compounds itself. We become even happier.

Third, I learned a lot from the kids. They both are darned good cooks and they prepare dishes I’ve never mastered. They know their way around the city, they have lived in Europe, they know about technology and how to make it work. They learned a few things from me, too, I know. Passing knowledge and experience between generations is very important. A thirst for knowledge helps make this happen. We all love to learn and for the old, it keeps our minds ticking.

Fourth, my arthritis improved tremendously and I was more energetic. Was it the climate? Was it my renewed interest in life? I don’t know the answer. All I know is that I returned to Kansas physically stronger and healthier.

This list could go on; suffice it to say, I feel rejuvenated! I have climbed out of my rut. New experiences in a new setting with loving people gave me reason to live. Back in Kansas my energy continues to flow. I’m seeing more people, going into town more, and having more fun than I’ve had for a long time. At the same time, I’m dreaming of our 2015-2016 winter in our casita in Tucson, and making plans.

Copyright 2015 by Shirley Domer

Intergenerational Living: The Trial Run

Grant and Blair invited Dennis and me to come to Tucson for a visit. They had just purchased a house with a little help from us and had lived in it for just one week when I arrived on February 15.* The house has two casitas (little houses) in the back yard for Dennis and me to occupy during the winter months. The deal is mutually beneficial. Their need for a larger down payment and our needs were in sync. But would existence in proximity to each other be in sync as well?

This was, in my mind, a test run. I figured that if my staying in the guest room of the main house was comfortable and pleasant for all of us, everything would be fine when Dennis and I come to live in the guest house. I suspect the kids saw it that way, too.

From the start things looked promising. My bed had been delivered to the main house because the primary casita was not ready for occupancy, nor was I equipped with kitchen equipment to use there. A complete bedroom awaited me, down to wastebasket and clothes hamper. Grant and Blair had worked hard to make me feel welcome.

I felt like a guest only for the first few days. I began to feel at home when Blair gave me an introductory tour of the kitchen cabinets and more so when I made granola and bread while the kids were at work. We always ate the evening meal together and worked together to get it ready. After supper we lingered at the table, “talking coffee,” as after-dinner conversation is called in my family.

We developed some routines. We took informal turns cooking, determined by the meals we planned for the week on Saturday. We went grocery shopping together, too. Sometimes I went with Blair, sometimes with Grant.

I felt free to participate in discussion about transforming the back yard. I was included in a get-together at a neighbors’ house. (I was at least 35 years older than anyone else, but it seemed to make no difference except that I left long before the other guests because it was my bedtime.) The adorable Airedale, Zucca, came to accept me as part of her family and to greet me when I came home.

I spent more and more time in the main casita, thanks to Blair and Grant, who moved a nice table and two chairs into the front room, and Blair’s mother, who brought a nice couch and easy chair as well as a lovely dresser for the bedroom. Last week the heating and cooling mini split was installed and Grant and Blair brought my bed over so I could spend a few nights sleeping in the casita. I had wanted to get the feel of living there before I came home. It was good.

By the time I left Tucson yesterday I was fully invested in the intergenerational experiment and happy to be so. I’m glad to be back  in Kansas for its beautiful spring, but I’m missing Tucson, and wish I could be there today to witness the cutting of the huge dead eucalyptus in the back yard. The kids have promised to send a photo, but it won’t be like watching and documenting the whole operation.

Looking back I realize there are certain important aspects to the success of intergenerational living including communication, respect, and more. Soon I’ll be posting my thoughts on those subjects. In the meantime, hasta la vista.

*  Dennis couldn't go because of obligations at home.

 

Copyright 2015 by Shirley Domer

Pizza Party

Last evening we had a pizza party. Using bread flour, I made the dough for the crusts while the kids were still at work. By the time they arrived home, the dough was ready to toss.

Grant worked in a pizza shop when he was in college, so he took over. First he scattered cornmeal on the countertop, and began to form the first ball of dough. The object was to create an indentation all the way around about half an inch from the edge.

Then he whirled into action that was too fast for my camera, so Blair made a slo-mo video.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/sFtyj8yld1g?rel=0

Meanwhile the pizza stone was heating in a 500º oven. Grant removed the stone from the oven and laid the formed dough on it. Another whirlwind of action ensued. First came one ladle of pizza sauce.

Then, using the bottom of the ladle, he spread the sauce in ever-widening circles.

Now hands flew, adding mozzarella cheese, fresh basil, and prosciutto.

The pizza went into the oven for about nine minutes.

We declared this pizza and its successor to be the best ever.

Copyright 2015 by Shirley Domer

Tucson Abloom

I’ve been too busy with mundane things to report on what really interests me – the flora and fauna in our yard. (Cooking is important, too, but that’s another story.) I’m making up for it in this post, though, so here we go.

I arrived in Tucson in mid-February and spent a lot of time wandering around the large yard observing the flora. There’s a little grove of trees by the door of our smaller casita and one day I noticed brown pods hanging from some branches. Cracking one pod open I found some familiar seeds.

I had seen seeds like these years ago in Austin, Texas lying scattered around the entrance to Dick and Cynthia’s house. I had gathered some and used them as eyes in a gourd mask.  I recognized these Tucson seeds as he seeds of Texas mountain laurel. Then, on February 26, blooms appeared. When they opened, they smelled heavenly.

By March 4 several strange shrubs had burst into bloom.

I find it amazing that a shrub with the most modest of leaves should produce blossoms in such profusion.

About the time these blossoms were fading, several other shrubs developed pannicles of yellow blooms. I took this photo today.

And, in the process of shooting the photo, I noticed this unusual insect cocoon. It must be some kind of leafroller.

As it happens there’s an Agricultural Extension office in Tucson. Next November I’ll be there to learn about the creature that produces this architectural wonder.

In the meantime, I’m enjoying occasional spectacular sunsets over the Catalina Mountains.

Copyright 2015 by Shirley Domer

The Amazing Mini Split

The larger casita needed a new heating and cooling system. The old furnace was kaput. So was the rooftop evaporative cooler. (More about that will be coming up soon.) My future granddaughter-in-law recommended a mini split. I had never heard of mini splits, but soon learned that they are heat pumps that sit outdoors and pipe refrigerant, either heated or cooled, directly into rooms. Originally engineered in Japan, where they are omnipresent, the technology is also widely used in Europe. The mini split is an incredibly efficient way to heat and cool a building. Running a single one-ton unit uses the same amount of electricity as a 60-watt light bulb.

Shortly after I arrived in February we got a bid on a Mitsubishi. The estimator thought it would cost $5,300, but when the bid arrived it was for $6,000 – far more than we had hoped. A second bid came in for Gree units. It was even higher, $7,500. This was looking bad. We got a third bid, this one for Lennox, which came in at $7,050.

I had the energy for just one more bid before capitulating. We contacted David at Accurate Air, and were happy when he bid $5,300 for installing two one-ton Daikin units.

The next day he and his assistant Alex started the installation. They drilled holes using the biggest drill bit I’ve ever seen.

They marched around on the roof to install the electrical lines.

They used a very large assortment of tools. Here they were cutting a pipe to the correct length.

They ran hoses to connect the heat pumps to the indoor converters.

They hung an indoor converter on the wall of each room.

Inside the indoor unit you can see the refrigerant rods that transfer warmth or coolth (I know that isn’t a word, but it should be) by conduction.

After two days' work, the job was finished. Both outdoor units are located in a space between the casita and a tall wall that I think of as the "alle." (The black wire on the right have to do with a satellite TV dish and will have to be removed.)

Last evening was quite chilly so I got to crank up the mini splits. They are fantastic. Air blowing from the indoor units was warm and like a very gentle breeze.

Using the portable remote controls (each room's unit is controlled independently), I could manage the temperature and direct the airflow up or down or anywhere in between. The system was so quiet I couldn’t tell whether it was running or not. The outdoor units are equally quiet.

I think mini splits are the cat’s meow.

Copyright 2015 by Shirley Domer